6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize