So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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