I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
