Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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