He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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