Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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