Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
