I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
