your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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