That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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