Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Enjoy the penises
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
