And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
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