YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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