oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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