Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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