Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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