I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
