I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize