You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
how does that bad decision feel?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
