census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
