It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
