I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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