I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
