if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
