I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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