yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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