What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
