reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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