a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The dysfunction is strong in this one.