We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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