what ever happened to devon sawa?
i'm really worried about him.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.