you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you