Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She announced her abortion via fbk
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize