i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
