I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
