i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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