I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
