none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
