she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
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I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
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you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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