i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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