Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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