I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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