So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm at about main and main street
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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