I think i peed on brittanys purse
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize