i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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