Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize