What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
