What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
