Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
COCAINE IS GR8
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