I think scott just propositioned me for sex
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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