if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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