Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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