shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
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We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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