mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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