I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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