Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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