Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
