either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
