Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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