Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
