I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize