why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
