I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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